As we approach Super Tuesday a lot of young voters are “Feeling The Sand(ers)”—as in, they’re excited about Senator Bernie Sanders running for president (of the United States!) Some people are also excited about Hillary Clinton, another person running for president. Pretty much nobody is excited about Austin Powers, a movie character we all loved for several years in the late ‘90s and early ‘00s.
One of the attractive things about Bernie Sanders is he’s remained very consistent in his beliefs. He’s been fighting for the same causes his entire career; those causes just happen to be more relevant than ever today. Austin Powers hasn’t been relevant since his last film appearance in 2002 and it’s easy to see why. Yeah, there’s still a lot to like in the idea of a silly James Bond parody but a lot of the catchphrases are pretty grating, to be honest.
So let’s review some quotes. The important thing to remember is that democracy only works if we all vote and also we all used to like Austin Powers.
1. “I think many people have the mistaken impression that Congress regulates Wall Street. In truth that’s not the case. The real truth is that Wall Street regulates the Congress.”
2. “There is a lot of sentiment that enough is enough, that we need fundamental changes, that the establishment—whether it is the economic establishment, the political establishment or the media establishment—is failing the American people.”
3. “Do I make you horny, baby?”
4.”In my view, a corporation is not a person. A corporation does not have First Amendment rights to spend as much money as it wants, without disclosure, on a political campaign. Corporations should not be able to go into their treasuries and spend millions and millions of dollars on a campaign in order to buy elections.”
5. “If a financial institution is too big to fail, it is too big to exist.”
6. “Shall we shag now, or shag later?”
7. “We got a collapsing middle class. We have more wealth and income inequality today than we’ve had since the 1920s. We have all of these enormous issues. And what big money can do is put an unbelievable amount of TV and radio ads out there to deflect attention from the real issues facing the American people.”
8. “You have to bring people together who may not agree on every issue but who understand that the middle class is collapsing and we are moving toward an oligarchic form of society, where the billionaires will control the economy and the political life of this country.”
9. “Twins, Basil. Twins!”
10. “If the goal of health care reform is to provide comprehensive, universal health care in a cost-effective way, the only honest approach is a single-payer approach.”
11. “What the American people are angry about is they understand that they did not cause this recession. Teachers did not cause this recession. Firefighters and police officers who are being attacked daily by governors all over this country did not cause this recession. Construction workers did not cause this recession. This recession was caused by the greed, the recklessness and illegal behavior of the people on Wall Street.”
12. “Oh, behave!”
13. “I am talking about a war being waged by some of the wealthiest and most powerful people against working families, against the disappearing and shrinking middle class of our country. The billionaires of America are on the warpath. They want more and more and more.”
14. “The ruling has radically changed the nature of our democracy. It has further tilted the balance of the power toward the rich and the powerful at a time when the wealthiest people in this country already never had it so good. History will record that the Citizens United decision is one of the worst in the history of our country.”
15. “I’ve run outside of the two-party system, defeating Democrats and Republicans, taking on big-money candidates and, you know, I think the message that has resonated in Vermont is a message that can resonate all over this country. People should not underestimate me.”
16. “Wawaweewa it’s a very nice!”
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