Like many of us, Samantha Bee and her staffers are trying to make sense of what has been unfolding in the United States government since January. As you’re probably aware, the most talked-about event on Capitol Hill as of late has been the Congressional hearing of self-proclaimed civil rights advocate Jeff Sessions.
“The DOJ’s garden gnome,” as Bee appropriately calls him, sat in a grueling conference Tuesday during which he consistently evaded questions and flashed his unnerving, Scooby Doo-villain smile. The “southern-fried snoozefest” left us with no real answers, other than knowledge that John McCain is intent on interrupting fellow senator Kamala Harris in each hearing. He cut her off for a second time—the first was during the Comey testimony—while she was grilling Sessions, asking questions that were actually pertinent to the investigation. To no surprise, Sessions was unable to answer said questions on account of him being “confused.”
“About a third of Jeff’s RAM is dedicated to not saying the n-word, which just slows the whole system down,” quips Bee. “And that goes up to two-thirds when a smart woman of color is lobbing questions at him like a tennis ball launcher.” Sessions looks and behaves like a store-brand oatmeal mascot who just popped off of the box and into the legislature, which is both entertaining and immensely frustrating. As Bee says, these hearings are going to outlast our will to live.
In order to get through the rest of these hearings, take Bee’s advice: “Think of it like the OJ trial. The same amount of backstabbing—only with fewer celebrities—but still illustrating an epic divide in the nation. And of course, everyone will unfairly shit on the female prosecutor.”
You can watch Bee’s analysis of the situation above.