Whether you’ve been paying attention to the news or not, it’s likely you’ve heard about the Trump administration’s newest policy of keeping kids in cages. Outrage has been rising across the country as more details emerge surrounding the administration’s zero-tolerance policy that is seeing families separated at the border and children being placed into what essentially amounts to baby jail. That’s right, just when you thought it couldn’t get worse, the United States of America is running baby jails now.
On Monday, Oliver Darcy, a CNN reporter, tweeted that White House Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders would not be participating in the daily press briefing, as she did not want to field questions concerning the widely criticized zero-tolerance policy. And on Tuesday night, Late Show host Stephen Colbert ripped Sanders a new one for essentially opting out of doing her job.
In his monologue, Colbert reminded Sanders that she could quit her job if “defending kids in cages” is too difficult. “This is the White House, not an abandoned Walmart,” said Colbert, alluding to the locations of the immigration facilities. “You’re allowed to leave.” (Recent reports suggest she might do just that.)
He also took the time to assure her that the job was not personal. “You don’t get to tag out, it’s not really you up there,” he said. “You’re just Donald Trump’s mouthpiece. Or whatever part the lies come out of.” He continued, adding, “You’re just the vehicle. You’re like the vestigial twin that just grew out of Trump’s neck last summer.”
During the monologue, Colbert made sure not to forget about Secretary of Homeland Security Kirstjen Nielsen, or “stepmom flushing pictures of your real mom down the toilet,” who flew in from Louisiana to defend the policy in place of Sanders. He criticized her decision to step forward for the press conference despite the advice of her friend John Kelly, saying “Even Nielsen’s close ally, White House chief of staff John Kelly, advised Nielsen against doing the news conference. Man, does anybody in the White House listen to John Kelly? John Kelly’s like that sticker on your meds that says, ‘Do not take with alcohol.’”
Colbert also addressed a time when Nielsen had concerns about the monitoring of unaccompanied children and was eventually “pushed to get on message” by her colleagues. “So for a brief moment, she had a little voice in her head telling her to do the right thing. So she had that little voice locked up in a cage in rural Texas.”
For Colbert, there are only two ways that you can feel about this story: You can either “be horrified, or you can work for Donald Trump.” Watch him rip into Sanders, Nielsen, Laura Ingraham and Trump himself for hugging the American flag in the full segment below.